Wellington St #3

Date: 4th October 2006
Time: 8:35am
Place: Cnr Wellington St and Johnston St, Collingwood
Car: Early 90s Volvo, Red.
Driver: Female, Mid-Late 20s.
Reaction: Extreme verbal retaliation.
Tard Rating: 10/10

After the lights changed, I started to peddle across the intersection - the delay between one way getting a red light, and the other getting a green is on average around 3 seconds, and I think it's generally more at this intersection because it's usually pretty busy - I looked up briefly to check that the intersection was clear, cars were stopped on either side, so all was good in the world. Unfortunately it's hard to see up the eastbound land from where I was sitting because there's a shop in the way.

As I reached the middle of the east bound lane, I hear an almighty screech of brakes, and turn around to see a Volvo coming to rest about 3 feet from my legs. Probably the scariest close call I've had to date, so I figure this driver deserves a bit of a spray.

I stop and let fly with what surely has to be a Guinness World Record for the most amount of "fucks" in a sentence ever used on a stationary bicycle. Then she has the gall to start yelling at me for going through a green light some 4-5 seconds after she was supposed to stop at a red light.

Big thanks to the girl cyclist behind me who also gave her a spray for being a stupid, ignorant tardass.

Wellington St #2

Date: 11th October 2006
Time: 8:15am
Place: Cnr Wellington St and Easy St, Collingwood
Car: 1980s VC or VH Commodore, Red.
Driver: Male, mid 50s.
Reaction: Subtle verbal reminder.
Tard Rating: 6/10

When the traffic on Wellington St comes to a standstill, I tend to get a bit more nervous than usual. People generally, as they should, leave gaps for cars entering into, or exiting from, a number of t-intersections along the road. People tend to ignore the "Give Way" signs because they figure "Hey! The traffic's stopped! I don't have to think or lookor pay attention until I get into that lane there!"

This guy was one such example. The cyclist in front of me had to take evasive action, jumping into a garden, and ended up almost riding straight into a telegraph pole, whilst I had to slam on the brakes and skid almost into the side of his car.

As I'd had a rough week, I was in no mood to yell or abuse anyone, so I simply rode up to his window and said "Watch where you're going next time." - the blank look on his face suggested that he had no idea what I was talking about.

Wellington St #1

Date: 18th October 2006
Time: 8:40am
Place: Cnr Wellington St and Victoria Pde, Collingwood
Car: Early 90s Corolla, Grey
Driver: Female, early 20s.
Reaction: Handgestures / Bird Flipping.
Tard Rating: 4/10

Generally Wellington Parade is the worst place on my ride to work, due to the fact that there's so many blind t-intersections. This driver was waiting at the lights near Victoria Parade sitting in the bike lane where shen't supposed to be - if you ever come across a driver sitting in a bike lane, they're impatient, so be careful - I stopped behind her, where she could clearly see me in her rear vision mirror while we waited for the lights to change.

When the lights changed, she moved forward back into the traffic lane - she was turning left - having the benefit of better acceleration, I moved along side her in the bike lane in an effort to go straight ahead. Drivers always give way to pedestrians or cyclists in this case. She didn't.

Slowly I realised she wasn't planning to give way, and she started turning into me. I had to bunny hop the gutter and head down into the pedestrian crossing to avoid being cleaned up. I turned around and held up my right hand as if to say "What're you doing, stupid?" and she pulled a face that said "Hurrrrr". So, in turn, I flipped her the bird and rode off.